


Marbles

by ceywoozle



Series: One Word Bottomjohn Prompts [82]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 20:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5980252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceywoozle/pseuds/ceywoozle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sexual experiments of Sherlock Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marbles

Sherlock is looking pleased with himself. Far too pleased. John, watching him from the other side of the bedroom, is instantly suspicious.

“I have an idea, John.”

“Oh yes?”

“Yes. I know how upset you were about the anal beads.”

“Oh yes.”

“But. I got you something better.”

John lets the first faint traces of hope penetrate the fogs of suspicion. He really, _really_ liked those anal beads.

“Much better,” Sherlock goes on. “And more expensive. And prettier.”

The faint hope is now giving birth to the first stirrings of anticipation.

“What is it?” he asks, not entirely willing to drop the point.

Sherlock chuckles and _oh_ the things that sound does to John. It’s low and heated and _promising._

“Tell me,” he presses because now it’s imperative.

Sherlock just grins and he _stalks_ towards John and it’s predatory and primal and John can feel the last vestiges of rationality flee his brain like a capybara scenting a jaguar.

Sherlock’s voice is right at his ear when he rumbles, “It’s a surprise,” and really John doesn’t stand a chance.

* * * * *

It’s an hour later and John is sitting…no… _standing_ in the A and E of St Mary’s and trying not to punch Sherlock in the face.

“I’m _sorry,”_ Sherlock hisses. He is sitting— _bastard_ —in the chair right next to where John is shifting from foot to foot and trying to look contrite.

“You. Are an _idiot,”_ John hisses back.

“I didn’t think they wouldn’t come _out_ again! They weren’t _that_ big, John! You probably just didn’t try hard enough.”

“Sherlock, I swear to god if you don’t stop talking I _will_ kill you and not even Mycroft will find your body.”

“It’s not like they’re all that different from anal beads.”

Several people nearby are staring at them now. One ancient woman with stark white hair and so many wrinkles her features are merely a suggestion actually snickers.

“I _hate_ you,” he says to Sherlock and Sherlock rolls his eyes.

“No you don’t. Anyway, you said it felt amazing.”

“That was before I knew they were _bloody marbles, you ass!”_

“Details.”

“I will kill you. I _will._ Kill you.”

“I hope you used plenty of lubrication, young man,” the wrinkled crone creaks next to Sherlock and John thinks he might just die right then and there.

“John Watson?” a nurse calls out then and John has never been more thankful for anything in his life.

“Oh thank god.”


End file.
